It seems as if lately my mind has been wandering off, thinking strictly "What if's". As if these new questions have become a second language. A language so bittersweet that my tongue burns at even the thought, and yet craves for more; craves answers more than anything. The questions taunt me regularly, as if a lover whispering sweet nothings into my ear, but while turning my attention to seek their eyes, I meet nothing but a dark fog, leaving me feeling the need to venture through it, hoping they might be on the other side to whisper once more.
I have not yet once let this second language become permanent, nor have I let it last long enough to become fluent. But I fear that this will last far into my days. far past welcoming. I fear that these questions might lead me astray, that I might venture into that dark fog whilst trying to find the meaning, but only to find that I no longer know my up from down and left from right.
I am afraid that some day I might stumble upon these answers, but then come to realize I have only lost myself in my journey to gain knowledge, I'm afraid I might be too far gone for the answers to even slightly be plausible at that point.
...and all this time,
I've been speaking in my second language.
and now, I've just gained more in questions, than I have become knowledgeable in answers.
I have not yet once let this second language become permanent, nor have I let it last long enough to become fluent. But I fear that this will last far into my days. far past welcoming. I fear that these questions might lead me astray, that I might venture into that dark fog whilst trying to find the meaning, but only to find that I no longer know my up from down and left from right.
I am afraid that some day I might stumble upon these answers, but then come to realize I have only lost myself in my journey to gain knowledge, I'm afraid I might be too far gone for the answers to even slightly be plausible at that point.
...and all this time,
I've been speaking in my second language.
and now, I've just gained more in questions, than I have become knowledgeable in answers.
No comments:
Post a Comment